It may not be an attribute to be proud of but I can break relationships with people who do not add value to my life rather quickly. In other words, I keep toxic people at a distance.
– are mad more than happy
– emotionally needy
– always have some drama going on
– require me to do/give/loan you something but never able to help if I need help
– a constant complainer
– a gossip
– can find something wrong in everything, even a rainbow
…you cannot be in my inner circle. I will happily speak and hold brief conversation but we will not be BFFs nor hang out for more than a few minutes.
This didn’t happen overnight, I grew into this ‘cut off toxic people’ skill as I grew older. Looking at my life, I’m happy that I did. I do not live my life to be sad, worried, or anything less than joyful and I am not willing to let other people control my joy.
With close family, it’s hard to do but you can love them from a distance.
Where are you in your monitoring of toxic relationships? Who do you keep in your inner circle?
This except from T.D. Jakes’ book Before You Do was shared in The Word For You Today and sums it up very well. I hope you enjoy it.
Scripture: “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?”
– Amos 3:3 NKJV
A toxic relationship is like a limb with gangrene: Unless you amputate it the infection can spread and kill you. Without the courage to cut off what refuses to heal, you’ll end up losing a lot more. Your personal growth – and in some cases your healing – will only be expedited by establishing relationships with the right people.
Maybe you’ve heard the story about the scorpion who asked the frog to carry him access the river because he couldn’t swim. “I’m afraid you’ll sting me,” replied the frog. The scorpion smiled reassuringly and said “Of course I won’t. If I did that we’d both drown!” So the frog agreed and the scorpion hopped on his back. Wouldn’t you know it: Halfway across the river the scorpion stung him! As they began to sink the frog lamented, “You promised you wouldn’t sting me. Why did you do it?” The scorpion replied, “I can’t help it- it’s in my nature!”
Until God changes the other person’s nature, they have the power to affect and infect you. For example, when you feel passionately about something but others don’t, it’s like trying to dance a foxtrot with someone who only knows how to waltz. You picked the wrong dance partner!
Don’t get tied up with someone who doesn’t share your values and God-given goals. Some issues can be corrected through counseling, prayer, teaching, and leadership – but you can’t teach someone to care. If they don’t care, they’ll pollute your environment, kill your productivity, and break your rhythm with constant complaints. That’s why it’s important to pray and ask God, “Does this person belong in my life?”
Written in Love,